Wednesday, 07 October 2009
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This has been a productive & difficult week thus far..
I enjoyed the conference on saturday, also a wonderful opportunity to spend time with my sisters in Christ.
I came back saturday evening to have some quiet time. My ex was staying over & my younger brother was up ( I told my ex not to bring him back as he had not asked to stay over & wets the bed when drunk) so I knew it wouldn't be quiet when they got back.
I was still up at 2am when my brothers & ex came back form their evening out. Merry & drunk. They were ok mostly, though my younger brother was certainly the worst for wear. I said he couldn't stay, my words fell on deaf ears. We all ended up having an heart to heart & feelings were aired. My younger sibling went to the toilet at 3.30 before we all went to bed. I got up with them as they were leaving at 7am. Youngest had done his party trick on my comfy & favourite sober. I went back to bed when he uttered the sorry word, crying in frustration & left them to deal with it. I prayed & prayed for my heart not to be hardened. I couldn't sleep so I got up to the mess, they had just put the cushions outside & put a towel over the sofa. The smell was awful. It took me ages to try to get it clean. I have told him not to come again as I have had enough, he has ruined so many mattresses whilst living with me over many years. My older brother has backed my decision & refuses to have him at his house as he has created problems at theirs & he knows I am not up to dealing with his antics.He says our brother knows I am often ill & not up to him making my life harder. I know it seems harsh..
I didn't go to church this sunday as I hadn't slept. I spent the day cleaning & resting. Monday was "ladies curry nite", it was a lovely afternoon cooking & sharing in the evening. We ate & chatted together. This occasion is a wonderful opportunity to share the gospel with our muslim friends..
Yesterday Muzmmal & I went to a dietary class. It was very different to other classes. It is government run so it is free. We didn't feel pressured at all. The guy who runs it is a trained chef & knows his stuff. He gave us lovely cookbooks & files to add our weekly progress & weekly recipes. We have also signed up for a free exercise class aimed at the 55's & over. We younger but both suffer from arthritis & I have the fibro-myalgia etc. so it will suit us both.
Don't laugh, but the class is called chair aerobics . I have failed to see the serious side as I envisioned us both in that class, the older ones will probably run rings round us, literally ;)
I have my niece & nephew after school today & will spend the evening there.
Tomorrow I have an appointment with women s counseling for the emotional side of my illness. I am nervous ,yet determined about it. I have awful mood swings, it's bad enough being hormonal. I had a full hysterectomy about 12 years ago of which threw straight into the change, though I started it at 32 really. Life I know has been tough on those close to me, so I am happy to take the psychotherapy course..
Hope you all have a good week walking with the Lord & enjoy grace..
Please pray for me as I deal with my non-christian family. I respect people not being christian, but my family can be hard on me. They take advantage at times & make me feel guilty. I love them, but they are often difficult to deal with. I am so confused at times as I know I shouldn't feel guilty, yet it's hard not to..
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. [a]2 I will say [b] of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."Psalm 91
Blessings xx
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Comments (7)
Dealing with the non-Christian parts of a family can be very disheartening at times. Your younger brother should have cleaned up his mess instead of merely putting it outside... no wonder you didn't want him to sleep over.
Dear Angela,
Thank you so much for subscribing to my blog, and for paying me a visit and leaving a comment. I see you came over from a comment I left on Angi's site, which was about photography. I did enter a PhotoPost over the weekend, but I'm glad you commented on my poetry, esp. since I haven't gotten that many comments on the post! Usually my poetry is more upbeat and optimistic. But so many people are abused in ways that sometimes they don't even realize, and as a writer, I wanted to get into their heads so to speak. I used to wonder why young girls would cut themselves, for instance. I explain in Modern Schoolgirl why things like that might happen.
You are gracious and giving, and it seems your brothers and ex pay you back by being slobbish and irrespectful. I certainly hope your prayers work. I was quite a drunk myself back in my 20s and 30s. I quit drinking for five years after getting beat up in a bar, and robbed, and I was so snockered I didn't even remember the episode. I "came to" wandering about the yard of a guy who lived down the street from the bar. He was able to get my phone number out of me, and my roommate came by to pick me up.
I started drinking again when I got fired from a job in 1987. Now I'm 56, and I do like to have one drink every other night, but haven't been drunk in over 15 years or so. The terrible thing about drunks is that they don't realize they have a problem, and when one tries to steer them in a different direction, they will become argumentatvie and not listen.
Good luck with your prayers and witnessing, and I'll pray for your progress.
Thanks again for your subscription. I offer a mix of my poetry, photography, artwork, and spritual musings. The people who read my blog are a large mix of different types of people. I try to appeal to everyone, and I follow the golden rule as much as possible.
Nice to meet you, and I hope to see you again soon.
Michael F. Nyiri, poet, philosopher, fool
I've never seen so many little babies in one place.
Angie, your site is so beautiful and I think must be a lot of effort! Amazing. I often save to "my pictures" your pictures, especially cute ones of kittens. I'm not writing a book; I'm reading one! "Echo in the Bone," about people from Scotland, a series of novels starting with "Outlander." They do some time travel.... anyway, interesting, and I've learned more about Scotland, even though they're fiction, than I ever knew before. And I'm glad you at lesat have an "ex," because, you know, "It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all." I think that's the way I feel anyway. And...the tree-lined lane picture at the top....that looks a lot like scenes here in the U.S. I wonder if you have tree-lined lanes that look just like that in the UK also. I've only been to London, Hamptom Court, train to Dover, hovercraft (back then, no chunnel) to Calais -- and all that in a day and a half I think. Do you remember when People Express (airways) had $199 fares -- that was Washington, D.C. to Gatwick, and I think it was roundtrip! But we've watched, repeatedly, all the "All Creatures Great and Small" BBC episodes, have them on DVD, and read the four books several times too! -- Yorkshire.
Thanku for your comments. I feel much better having got things off my chest..
My Ex & I are still close, he usually respectful nowadays. To give him is due, he seldom drinks now. I have known him for most of my life. We were together for over seventeen years. I still miss him at times, love him still though not in love. We are good friends. I pray one day he will know the Lord..
Today has been a lovely day spent with my niece & nephew.. Blessings to you all xx
I want to echo that your site is very beautiful.
I am sad to read that your family life is in such turmoil. Dealing with non-Christians can be very difficult, too. But Jesus was very honest about that. He warned that we'd suffer for our faith. It seems some suffer more than others, though.. I am thankful that you are on good terms with your ex. I and my ex are okay with each other, but not good friends, There is just no animosity between us. He remarried and lives in east coast state. I have met his wife when we all were at our daughter's home previous year.
Thank you for visiting my site and for comments. I continue to pray for you.
~~Peace, Joy, Prayers 'n Cheers
Glad you enjoyed the video, thanks for stopping by...praying for you and your family!
Mike